I’m not a fan of long cardio.

However, when you are competing in an event which involves a hilly 6 mile cross country run followed by 2 laps of an brutal assault course, you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do.

July 26th sees me taking part in the summer Tough Guy event in Wolverhapton, United Kingdom aiming to finish in the top 75 out of the thousands who take part. A big ask as I finished 138th last year but I’m up for it and preparation is going well!

However, Saturday was an effort. You know those days where everything seems to be going against you and there are strong calls coming from inside you to sack off training. Yes we all go through them. Anyone who doesn’t just doesn’t train hard enough the rest of the time to warrant wetting their pants at the thought of what lies ahead.

Having dropped a 25lb dumbbell on my finger which burst on impact, went purple and doubled in size whilst giving me that horrible nauseating feeling, I wasn’t in the best frame of mind!

In the end I did the run which was 8.25 miles including some steep hills in the middle of about 50m in length 3 minutes quicker than last time.

Here’s how the internal dialogue went to get me through from the moment of busting the finger……

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Shit this really hurts. Think the nails going to come off. Go home and get some ice on it.

No…you know you need to test yourself on this run and get the hill training in. Tough Guy is won and lost on the ’slalom’ and you know those hills are where you can make up a lot of places.

Yeah but I won’t be able to concentrate and the pain’s making me feel ill. Go home and get some ice on it.

Look you pussy, you write on Worlds Toughest Workouts and you’re bottling out of a session where you don’t even need your finger. Just get changed and go. If you did this in battle, you’d have to carry on. Give yourself so option.

Alright let’s do it. Let’s f**king do it. Oh crap the earpiece on my iPod’s knackered. This really isn’t my day and cardio stuff bores me without some banging tunes. Sack it off.

Don’t be such a gym rat! You won’t have your iPod at Tough Guy – it’ll be a good test. Tape your finger up and go.

(5 minutes later)

God my legs feel heavy from front squats a couple of days ago – maybe just get to Lenton Boulevard and head back – you can still make it tough over 5k. Yeah do more of a speed session.

No you gotta do this. Look for solutions. Look for strength. That’s what makes you different. You’ll be fine once the legs loosen up just get to the start of Lenton Boulevard in 6 minutes and you’re on target. Come on open the stride a bit.

Mmmm the guns look good in the shop window….

Focus. Breathe. Deep breaths. Stay aerobic as long as possible.

Okay made it. 6 minutes. That’s a big win. You’re ahead of last time even if you’re tired.

Just overtook a fatty on a scooter – that’s either great or really, really sad. Who gives a f**k you’re doing well. Let’s push through the crossroads. Trust your stride. Breathe.

We’re at 14 minutes, get to the hills under 20. You’ve got it in you. Play chicken at the traffic lights. It’s not your time to go, you won’t get run over. Save 30 seconds. Beat the lights…..

Did you send that email to Jimmy Smith about the interview..? OI FOCUS. TRAIN NOW WORK LATER. YOU KNOW THE RULES. STAY IN THE ZONE.

Good work we’re on it. Should hit the hills at 19.20 ish. Woah legs suddenly feel heavy. It’s pyschological you’re thinking about the hill. Just get there. Come on, push on, trust your stride.

Imagine that guy who did you last year without about 800m to go is just behind you. Show no weakness in battle. You’re hurting but he doesn’t know that. Scare him, make him work. Open the stride to hill attack it. Stay on the edge.

Okay hill time. Took 13 minutes last time to do 8 up and down. Oh crap the quads are hurting. Get 2 done then you’ll be in the rhythm. Come on head down. Push.

No rest at the bottom of the hill. This is where you’ll make your race at Tough Guy. Go hard now and it’ll be easy on the day. You’ll destroy people on the hills. Want it. Believe in yourself. Stay on the edge.

That’s 4. This hurts. Come on mate.

You stopped for 5 seconds at the top you twat. Make it up. MAKE IT UP. Faster on the downhill. MAKE IT UP.

7 down in 10 minutes – f**king YES PLEASE! Finish it now, you could beat your time despite the bad day! You love this sh*t, you love the challenge do it. Finish the hills in 11. GO ON.

Nailed it. Now don’t go at recovery pace, push on for home now, take time off, come on TAKE TIME OFF – EAT IT UP. Trust your stride.

Push to Derby Road – give yourself room to play with on the long hill. Shit…..lost track of whether this is on target or not. Aaaaah this has hit motivation. Come on find it again, it feels good so you must be on target. Trust your stride.

Right, Derby Road hill. Head down again, get it done then we push the final mile or two.

Oh crap this is hurting more than last time. Your strides shortening. Find your strength, don’t lose time, YOU’RE LOSING IT…. FIND IT, PUSH IT, WANT IT. 8 weeks until race day, no room for quitting. DRIVE DRIVE DRIVE.

Done it. Don’t rest. Turn and push hard back down the hill.

But 20 seconds rest at the traffic lights then I’ll go hard.

No it won’t help just move….NO….MOVE AND DRIVE FOR HOME.

Nice, nice – good stride. Don’t mind the old granny………….just fly past get this done.

Oh yes back on to Lenton Boulevard with 10 minutes to spare to hit the record. This took 6 minutes on the way out. You’ve got this, you could do 55. That’s awesome for you. Come on, find the stride now.

Here it is final straight down Castle Boulevard. The pain’s good. It’ll pass. Finishing outside the top 75 at Tough Guy won’t. You’ve got to want this. THIS IS WHERE WINNERS ARE MADE.

Remember ‘Any given Sunday’. Focus on the next 6 inches. “And that gentlemen is the f**king difference between winning and losing”.

Crap you can’t breathe………….ease down a bit you’ll still beat 59 minutes.

No…kill it now, KILL IT. Make it a race, imagine you’re behind, you have to find more speed.

You’re flying now, come on, put your foot down OPEN UP OPEN UP…..800m to go.

RELEASE NOW. RELEASE…………..

(Silence……………)

*********************************************

My brain shut off at this point and I just went for it, nearly getting run over in the process, but I wanted a good record to prove to myself that I should NEVER find crap reasons not to train.

I did just that and took 3 minutes off my previous time. It hurt but it made me stronger.

When we feel at our lowest is usually just before we have our greatest successes. Whether it’s because we are FORCED to give it our all and find something special or because it’s the universe testing us one more time before it allows us to earn success, is for you to decide.

Either way I don’t care.

The mission was accomplished.

However, it was just one session. Having drive and attitude once every so often will get you nowhere.

Having the fight in you day in, day out is something you must cultivate and strengthen if you really want to achieve more.

That session is forgotten. I’m ready for the next, and the next and the next…………

Next time you doubt yourself, check you internal dialogue.

See how you talk to yourself. See which voices you listen to. See how important your goals REALLY are.

Above all, just get on with it. You’ll find strength.

PS Check out the Tough Guy even to see what I face ——-> Tough Guy

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